


set fire to the rain

by wckdroot



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 01:02:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16822003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wckdroot/pseuds/wckdroot
Summary: i let it fall, my heart,and as it fell you rose to claim itit was dark and I was overuntil you kissed my lips and you saved meThis is pure angst and could be triggering for those who have ever suffered from a miscarriage, there is also death so :)





	set fire to the rain

** My hands, they're strong **

Maybe it could have been different.

Maybe she wouldn't have been stood here in another world.

Another world.

The blood clinging to her shirt stiffens with every laboured breath, the tears that fall gracefully from her face rain onto the ground.

Her eyes follow the world that turns slowly around her, quietly deafening.

Screams echo throughout her tired bones, her heart slowly separating.

The darkness threatens to encase her as she steps through the portal.

She falls to the ground, alone again.

Her tears fall upon the stone standing enveloped by flowers.

Her heavy eyes fall upon the only part she has left connecting her to her humanity.

_Here lies, Ava Sharpe,_

_26.11.87-25.12.18_

_Loving Fiancé, Loyal Friend._

_Since when does a legend ever go quietly..._

** But my knees were far too weak **

Since when does a legend ever go quietly, Ava was strong.

Ava had faced everything from time demons to facing the fact her own existence was manufactured, however the love that travelled deep through her artificial veins for one Sara Lance terrified her.

She wasn't designed to feel, to love but Sara had managed to defy every code imprinted to Ava's skin.

So as she stood in the jewellers staring at the rows of rings, she found the unexplainable unconditional love which Ava held for her love.

Maybe she wasn't thinking, what if it was too quick.

What if?...

Ava had lived in a life covered with what ifs for too long.

As she slid the ring she'd just bought into her blazer pocket, Gary rambling behind her, she knew it was now or never.

When Christmas day/Sara's birthday arrived, the ring felt heavy in her pocket as Sara dragged their interlocked hands through the portal and onto the Waverider.

The smiles and welcoming arms of the legends.

Wait, no the smiles and welcoming arms of her _family_.

As John stood across the room winking with Gary sheepishly hiding behind his trench coat.

As Zari stood embraced by Charlie who was being less resistant to the idea of belonging.

Beebo, Ava knew that feeling.

As Ray and Nate tried to convince Mick to join the brony bros, whilst Mick held his new pet rat Axel jr.

Ava knew that this was her and Sara's home.

This would be where she and Sara would raise the child which currently grew inside of Sara.

A baby that would be theirs and would be theirs to cherish, love and protect at all costs.

So as she pressed her fingers tightly around the box in in her pocket and pushed herself to kneel on the floor.

Sara's eyes frantically meeting her own as she spun her to look at her.

As she gave Sara every reassurance they were unbreakable and for forever, the grip on her hand loosened.

Sara ran as fast as she could.

As far away from Ava as possible, Maybe someday Ava would understand.

Ava didn't have maybe someday... 

** To stand in your arms **

Maybe someday, Sara would be able to understand why she attracted death.

Why as she lay in bed on Christmas eve, embraced by Ava's strong arms cradling her she wept for the life which had left her body.

Her shaking hands lay upon Sara's bump which held no life, that hadn't even grown but Ava loved more than anyone on this earth.

Ava's soft snores ringed though her ears as she silently sobbed.

It shouldn't have been like this.

They should have been looking forward to bringing this new life into the world and raising a healthy child with unconditional love.

Ava still was waiting.

Sara mourned the loss of their child silently as she wished and begged for it not to be true.

They would've been strong and smart and beautiful like Ava.

Bright blue eyes which would've have even got Mick under their thumb.

She was so stupid.

She'd lost the baby, It was her decision to go on that mission.

It was only supposed to be recon so Gideon has allowed her to go.

But as Gideon searched for the heartbeat of the baby's life as the blood flowed down leg she knew.

She knew that her baby had grew its wings and flown to someplace better and safer than the world they would've provided.

She'd tell Ava soon.

She couldn't ruin her first Christmas with a real family.

A family which Ava still thought consisted of their little bundle of unmade plans.

The guilt flooded through her body as Ava clung to her body.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

**Without falling to your feet**

This wasn't supposed to happen.

She should've been engaged right now laying with the woman she loves.

But no.

Life would never let her have one good thing.

She portalled out of the Waverider into her kitchen grabbing the closest bottle of alcohol.

Whiskey, that would do.

She throws the bottle of champagne she'd left out to celebrate across the room shattering the medals that still hung upon the wall.

How could she have been so stupid?

Sure Sara wanted to have a kid with her but she didn't want to just be with ava for the rest of their lives.

Its probably the whole clone thing.

Who would want to date someone whose not even fucking human?

She would never force Sara and their baby out off the house so she made her way upstairs whilst still chugging the bottle of whiskey.

As she pulled herself into the room, she grabbed the ultrasound, which showed their little blob, and gently placed it into her blazer pocket.

Ava gently steadied herself against the door as she tried to supress her emotions.

She grabbed a piece of paper quickly explaining to Sara that she was absolutely fine and would still be involved with their baby no matter what.

Ava grabbed whatever clothes out of the drawers and forced them into her gym bag.

As she stumbled downstairs, she reached for another drink, grabbing the bottle of vodka that was hidden in case Mick showed up again and decided he was going to drink all their drinks.

Ava left the house and trudged down the stairs and into her car. She quickly exited the street heading for the nearest hotel, she knew she shouldn't be driving but what's the point no one really cared she's always replaceable. Her kid could grow up with another version of her and could still be loved unconditionally.

Suddenly, the ring tone of her phone echoed through her car.

Ava peered down onto the seat next to her. She didn't see the incoming headlights reflecting off her car.

_Crash!_

**There's a side to you**

_Crash!_

Sara launched the vase across the empty room, landing in the puddle of already broken champagne.

She was gone, Sara was such a screw-up she'd managed to screw up Ava as well.

The ultrasound had left the bedside cabinet replaced with a tear stained letter written by Ava.

How could she be so stupid.

Why was she afraid, She's supposed to be strong but she wasn't was she.

She'd lost their baby, she was weak.

Sara ran out the house looking for any sign of Ava except for the trail of what smelled like vodka, however the empty parking spot was the only lead she had.

Efficiently, Sara broke into the car which stood opposite her and started the engine.

What if she found Ava and she refused to see her?

What if Ava hates her for the rest of her life for losing their child?

Sara sped out of the road looking for Ava, however what she found severed Sara's heart in two.

Two cars merged into one as Sara watched Ava's car flip across the near empty street.

Sara ran. 

She ran until she could claw Ava out of the wreckage and hold her fragile body in her arms.

Sara sobbed as she cradled Ava's near lifeless body as she whispered prayers to a God she didn't believe in.

Shed already lost so much, She couldn't lose her Ava.

Ava's laboured breaths fell shallowly onto Sara's shoulder.

"Sara...I love y..ou...so much...y..ou..bet..ter...look after...our ki..d Lan..ce"

"Ava I love you so much, don't go please don't go baby I need you"

"Tell, the ba..by I wi...ll always be in here"

Ava heavily lifted her hand up towards Sara's chest.

Sara interlocked their fingers and pulled Ava impossibly closer.

As Ava's breaths became slower, She slowly whispered,

"I'll be seeing you around, Miss Lance"

Ava used all her energy to slowly interlock her pinkie with Sara's

"Well you can count on it, Miss Sharpe"

And as the 12th Ava clone breathed her last breath Sara gently clung to her pinkie begging to wake up from this nightmare.

She'd lost too much in this world.

Her sister, Laurel, the big sister who'd saved her so many times and gave Sara's life purpose for so many years

Her father, Quentin, who'd loved her so much even after losing her so many times.

Her baby, who would've been the light in the darkest of nights and a reason to carry on.

And she'd lost her love, Ava Sharpe, was like the ray of sunshine in the middle of a storm. She was hope that one day, she'd live her sort of normal with someone equal.

Maybe if she wasn't a part of their lives.

Maybe it could have been different.

**Author's Note:**

> well that was an emotional rollercoaster :)  
> its currently 1am so i'm sister exhausted and this is probably a mess but i'll edit it when I wake up :)


End file.
